Miss & Mr......

Discipline and consistency are known to be the differentiating factors between those who start projects and those who leave legacies behind. I want to be in the latter group but truth be told it does not come naturally to me, everyday is an uphill struggle. Sometimes I find myself hoping to find a short cut and the more I look for it the clearer it becomes, there is no short cut. All the "power thoughts" and inspirational quotes I have read seem to carry the same message, "hardwork pays". It is with this spirit that I lift my head high, flex my fingers and continue to journal the chronicles.

Most people including myself would like to be viewed as an individual with unique qualities instead of being grouped together and described with general statements. This extends to the experiences we have as we journey on and since there is nothing new under the sun, someone, somewhere has definitely gone through it before. These people maybe family, friends or even strangers. The circumstances could be similar, at times even identical but the personal experience is unique to the individual. 

       

 

Child birth, parenting, exams, working and office politics are a few examples of common situations almost everyone can relate with. We each react differently so when sharing experiences I'm training myself to consider the environment, emotions, timing, tone of voice and the impact of my words. This is to stop me from extrapolating my experiences and generalizing them for everyone. Life unlike tossing a coin has many outcomes it is therefore unfair to expect others to react and respond to situations the way I do. 

This is easier said than done yet significantly impacts friendships negatively and soon tags like "miss know it all",  "mr. fix it", "miss i've been there", "mr. i know how you feel" and "miss do it like me" begin to be associated with you. Slowly less people want to be around you, shallow friendships and plastics smiles become the norm. Don't settle for such standards let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, share our experiences without forcing them on others and leave room for the individual to make a choice without the guilt trip. 

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."Ralph Emerson

   

White Canvas

Mother's Day was recently celebrated across the globe and it was refreshing to see how people took time to appreciate their moms. For me this was my first Mother's Day as a wife and for my mum her first with a "son-in-love" as she calls him. As we spent time together I began to feel a deep sense of admiration swell up in my heart as she told us about the different chapters that shaped her life. Later that evening I pondered over her words and realized how privileged I was to be a brush stroke on her white canvas.

We spend nine months growing in their wombs afterwards we are born and each get a white canvas. They nurture, care, provide and protect us the best way they know and all these moments form the various brushes on our canvas'. As we get older we discover colors, paint brushes, erasers and pencils that inspire us to draw on our own. Each new experience is marked by a brush stroke; happy times are characterized by distinct, clean and steady strokes while the sad times appear as thick blobs of paint on the canvas. On my canvas the neutral colors represent the moments my mum has comforted, reassured and helped me draw especially during those times I felt I knew better.

It's been slightly over two decades now since I got my white canvas. With a glance i notice strokes that were painted without putting much thought; others that began with a dream that guided me through the strokes and few outstanding pieces appear that were inspired by the lives of others. Each of these strokes fill my mind with the events and memories that lead up to their existence. A broad smile stretches across my face when I remember my courtship days which have now formed an outstanding piece on my canvas.

The wedding planning was tiresome and had some frustrating moments but it was also the only time I saw so many friends and family joyfully come together to celebrate me. This kind of love and concern easily carries one to utopia. Honeymoon gateways add to the utopia feeling but as life has it, this too comes to an end. With her arms stretched wide open, reality awaits to embrace and welcome you from utopia. Her embrace for me was gentle and my reality came in a special way with a white canvas at the door for my footprints to symbolize my entry into my new home. Once inside my hubby says, "baby paint whatever you want this is ours".

Life only gives us one white canvas. DON'T let fear and uncertainties stop you from painting, dream and surround yourself with all kinds of stationery. Keep mum close as you'll need her to soften the
blobs of paint and allow yourself to learn from others....wisdom is in the streets!!!

Whispers and Flames

Nurturing anything new takes a lot of time and effort, the same principle applies to my newly found "blogging muscles". I find the joy of friendship is best felt when we are together sharing stories, experiences, painful moments and lots of laughter. During such times I rarely get to pay attention to the background noise, my inner voice or the whispers. I am fully engaged in the conversations, food and the relaxing ambience of each other.

Though like everything in life, such times must come to an end and the conversations soon turn to "goodbyes", "get home safely" among other neceities that express gratitude, appreciation and love. Once the cheerful noise fades and the feelings elicited by the time spent together pass, the whispers begin to get louder. 

They range from the positive words of wisdom passed down to us by our family members to the experiences and opinions shared by our friends and acquaintances. The background noise is still, my inner voice is murmuring and I begin to be consumed with whispers like," I shouldn't have done that...", " can I really do it?", "what will people think?", and my favorite whisper is "Hannah jostle!!!" as my brother would say.

We engage in numerous conversations during the course of our journey and as time has it, the more it passes the harder it becomes to remember each conversation. Life carries mystery, hope, love, anxiety and sometimes fear all of which have a way of catching up with us. When they do it causes a drastic shift to our worlds as we know it. This for me is followed by a deep longing to remember every conversation ever heard, moment spent and jokes shared but my memory fails me. It is only the extraordinary punch lines, courageous moments and rib cracking jokes that stay with me. 

Those are the moments that ignite our flame in each others lives and it's only when i purpose to scratch the surface of life, that my flame can continue to live on in others even after I am gone.

Don't just live, ignite a FLAME!!!!!

Turning the page

Trying something new is always accompanied with mixed feelings; will I succeed or will I fall flat on my face? Starting this blog was no different but with a few power thoughts I find myself writing;"after all what is the worst thing that can happen?" as my mum always says.

The journey of life is made up of many pages which form different chapters. I recently started a new chapter in my journey and turning the page was an emotional path accompanied with a lot of changes including status, name and geographical location. The funny thing about this situation is that I choose it and although I had over 10 months to get ready, it felt like I walked through a door which lead to a slippery floor and everything around the hallway was on free fall mode. I must say though the steps I took towards this door were full of pomp, glamour and celebrity style celebrations. 

Such highs rarely last very long and i quickly woke up in a new town, empty house and with a husband. The page was turned and the writing needed to begin. Overwhelmed with the responsibility of converting a space into a home coupled with the "people's opinions" of how a wife should behave I felt paralyzed. I missed my life yet this was it, everyday felt like I was chasing to catch up with what had now become my life. The change felt drastic with one minute I'm studying abroad, traveling the world and hoping for a very fulfilling career in the health sector; and the next minute I'm sitting in my house developing a new routine. Though in reality this change took months to happen emotionally it felt like it all happened within the hour.

Five months down the road the lines on my page are slowly filling up with words. I somehow caught up with my new life, it is full of great experiences and new discoveries. Just like any journey the road unwinds as you keep moving forward. My journey has just started in this new chapter and the pages will continue to turn as I move forward. So far i have learned that change however good or bad is accompanied with a spiral of emotions and only when they subside can I get to see the opportunity. In this case it has allowed me to discover a new hobby and has brought forth the "Chronicles of a coastal housewife".